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My Thoughts On The Grammy Nominations

Well the Grammy nominations are out. Here’s the full list of who’s being nominated and my thoughts.

Before we begin, I’ve got to say, the Grammy (along with the Academy Awards) are one of those things that people can really get bent out of shape about. If someone’s favorite artist, or song, or album doesn’t get nominated, they often take it as a personally slight against them, said artist’s (and their work) and view it as a grand sign of the music industry’s inability to recognize legitimate talent.

Here’s the thing though: The Grammy’s, like the Oscars, are really just a way for the recording industry to reward the artists that made them a shit-ton of money. If your favorite whatever didn’t get nominated, it’s not because they suck, it’s because they didn’t bring in the bills.

Just a brief note about how I’ll be formatting this, artists in bold are the ones who I think will be winning while italicized names are the ones I think should win.

1. Record Of The Year

Nothin’ On You
B.o.B Featuring Bruno Mars

Love The Way You Lie
Eminem Featuring Rihanna

F*** You
Cee Lo Green

Empire State Of Mind
Jay-Z & Alicia Keys

Need You Now
Lady Antebellum

This one is a bit of a toss up. I really think Cee Lo could pull out the win over Em but I wouldn’t be surprised if they gave Em the Grammy as a way of saying “Hey, thanks for coming out of retirement and making us a shitload of money again”

If Jay wins it’s because of the Illuminati

2. Album Of The Year

The Suburbs
Arcade Fire

Recovery
Eminem

Need You Now
Lady Antebellum

The Fame Monster
Lady Gaga

Teenage Dream
Katy Perry

This category always winds up being a bit of an upset I think. Perry is pretty much eliminated by not having a song nominated for Song of Year, and Em seems a shoe-in because of how much that record sold and how much airplay it’s gotten. Gaga could win too, because she’s easily generated as much revenue and gotten as much airplay, but I could see her not winning because I think everyone’s a bit tired of her schickt.

I think what it really boils down to here will be how the traditionalists (who I imagine make up the majority of the committee) will vote. It’s far more likely that they’ll give it to Gaga for making a pop record than giving it to Em for making a rap one.

Arcade Fire easily made a better album than either of them but when it comes down to mainstream recognition, they’ll probably lose out because of that.

3. Song Of The Year

Beg Steal Or Borrow
Ray LaMontagne And The Pariah Dogs

F*** You
Cee Lo Green

The House That Built Me
Miranda Lambert

Love The Way You Lie
Eminem Featuring Rihanna

Need You Now
Lady Antebellum

Cee Lo is not losing this category.

4. Best New Artist

Justin Bieber
Drake
Florence & The Machine
Mumford & Sons
Esperanza Spalding

I don’t even like Florence & The Machine, that Dog Days song is really fucking annoying, but they deserve to win here just for an impressive rise to fame without hype machine behind them that Beiber has. But Beiber will probably win.

Hopefully his newfound fame will send him down the long dark road of drug addiction.

5. Best Female Pop Vocal Performance

King Of Anything
Sara Bareilles

Halo (Live)
Beyoncé

Chasing Pirates
Norah Jones

Bad Romance
Lady Gaga

Teenage Dream
Katy Perry

How the fuck did Teenage Dream get nominated over California Girls? That shit makes no sense to me.

Either way, I think Gaga’s the obvious win here but I’d like to see them go for the less obvious choice of Sarah Bareilles. I think Beyonce might be able to pull the upset here just because of the specificity of her nomination. The version of Halo chosen is from her live album rather than her studio one.

6. Best Male Pop Vocal Performance

Haven’t Met You Yet
Michael Bublé

This Is It
Michael Jackson

Whataya Want From Me
Adam Lambert

Just The Way You Are
Bruno Mars

Half Of My Heart
John Mayer


Being dead is really working in MJ’s favor here but I could see them giving it to Mayer. What I’d really like though, is the far less obvious choice of Bruno Mars because I’m almost a hundred percent positive that’d be the first time a musician of Asian descent won a grammy (but I’m probably wrong)

7. Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals

Don’t Stop Believin’ (Regionals Version)
Glee Cast

Misery
Maroon 5

The Only Exception
Paramore

Babyfather
Sade

Hey, Soul Sister (Live)
Train

I have no opinion on this category other than: How the fuck did the Glee cast get nominated? I bet they fucking win.

8. Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals

Airplanes, Part II
B.o.B, Eminem & Hayley Williams

Imagine
Herbie Hancock, Pink, India.Arie, Seal, Konono No 1, Jeff Beck & Oumou Sangare

If It Wasn’t For Bad
Elton John & Leon Russell

Telephone
Lady Gaga & Beyoncé

California Gurls
Katy Perry & Snoop Dogg


Toss up between who will win here. Gaga and Beyonce had the stronger collab, but that fucking Airplanes became god damn ubiquitous. I want Katy and Snoop to win because I’d like to see them accept a Grammy together.

9. Best Pop Instrumental Performance

Flow
Laurie Anderson

Nessun Dorma
Jeff Beck

No Mystery
Stanley Clarke

Orchestral Intro
Gorillaz

Sleepwalk
The Brian Setzer Orchestra

No real opinion on this category (since I only recognize the Gorillaz) so they get it.

I have absolutely no interest in “Best Pop Instrumental Album,” Kenny G is the only name I recognize.

11. Best Pop Vocal Album

My World 2.0
Justin Bieber

I Dreamed A Dream
Susan Boyle

The Fame Monster
Lady Gaga

Battle Studies
John Mayer

Teenage Dream
Katy Perry

It’s a real toss up between Beiber and Gaga. I want Boyle to win, just to see her shit herself on stage.

12. Best Dance Recording

Rocket
Goldfrapp

In For The Kill
La Roux

Dance In The Dark
Lady Gaga

Only Girl (In The World)
Rihanna

Dancing On My Own
Robyn


Dance In The Dark will and should win, it’s a true banger of a dance track, echoing everything that was good about disco but with a modern sensibility…but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to see either Elly or Robyn take the award, just to give them a little more exposure. I’m leaning more towards Robyn simply because In For The Kill is a pretty annoying fucking song (but it remixes amazingly well)

13. Best Electronic/Dance Album

These Hopeful Machines
BT

Further
The Chemical Brothers
[Astralwerks]

Head First
Goldfrapp

Black Light
Groove Armada

La Roux
La Roux


These are the only nominees? For real?

Skipping over Best Traditional Pop Vocal. I know all the nominees but not their songs, hence, I don’t give a shit.

15. Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance

Run Back To Your Side
Eric Clapton

Crossroads
John Mayer

Helter Skelter
Paul McCartney

Silver Rider
Robert Plant

Angry World
Neil Young

What the fuck are most of these songs? Where did they come from?

16. Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals

Ready To Start
Arcade Fire

I Put A Spell On You
Jeff Beck & Joss Stone

Tighten Up
The Black Keys

Radioactive
Kings Of Leon

Resistance
Muse

Sorry Arcade Fire, The Black Keys fucking kill that track. Also: ❤ Joss Stone.

No opinion on best hard rock performance

Or best metal performance

Or best rock instrumental performance, other than that Black Mud by the Black Keys is a great song.

20. Best Rock Song

Angry World
Neil Young

Little Lion Man
Mumford & Sons

Resistance
Muse

Tighten Up
The Black Keys


Fuck Muse and Mumford & Sons. The Black Keys are fucking keeping the blues alive.

No opinion on Best Rock Album

22. Best Alternative Music Album

The Suburbs
Arcade Fire

Infinite Arms
Band Of Horses

Brothers
The Black Keys

Broken Bells
Broken Bells

Contra
Vampire Weekend

Arcade Fire deserves it more, I’d like Keys to win it more.

Surprisingly, I have no opinion on Best Female R&B performance. Somehow all of those songs just flew right by me. I’d be down if Jazmine Sullivan won it (and she probably will) but Faith Evans might get that elder statesman nod and win it because of that.

All the Male R&B songs (other than that shitty Usher song) passed me by too.

25. Best R&B Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals

Love
Chuck Brown, Jill Scott & Marcus Miller

Take My Time
Chris Brown & Tank

You’ve Got A Friend
Ronald Isley & Aretha Franklin

Shine
John Legend & The Roots

Soldier Of Love
Sade


While I really, really, really, really, really, really want John Legend & The Roots to win this, it’ll probably be Sade.

26. Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance

When A Woman Loves
R. Kelly

Hang On In There
John Legend & The Roots

You’re So Amazing
Calvin Richardson

In Between
Ryan Shaw

Go [Live]
Betty Wright

They’ve got to win. They’ve got no competition.

27. Best Urban/Alternative Performance

Little One
Bilal

F*** You
Cee Lo Green

Orion
Carolyn Malachi

Tightrope
Janelle Monáe & Big Boi

Still
Eric Roberson

Janelle deserves the win here but Cee Lo will get it. Also: Why the fuck is this even a category?

I’m not even gonna do the Best R&B song category. It’s pretty much the same as the last three (and I hope John Legend + The Roots get it)

Best R&B album is also pretty much the same as the last four. I’d love to see a Legend + Roots sweep of the R&B category.

30. Best Contemporary R&B Album

Graffiti
Chris Brown

Untitled
R. Kelly

Transition
Ryan Leslie

The ArchAndroid
Janelle Monáe

Raymond V Raymond
Usher

Fuck everyone in this category that isn’t Janelle.

31. Best Rap Solo Performance

Over
Drake

Not Afraid
Eminem

How Low
Ludacris

I’m Back
T.I.

Power
Kanye West


This list of nominees is fucking shameful. Kanye is the only one that even deserves the nomination (and really, it should’ve been for Runaway, not Power)

32. Best Rap Performance By A Duo Or Group

Shutterbugg
Big Boi & Cutty

Fancy
Drake, T.I. & Swizz Beatz

On To The Next One
Jay-Z & Swizz Beatz

My Chick Bad
Ludacris & Nicki Minaj

Lose My Mind
Young Jeezy & Plies

These nominations don’t even make sense.

33. Best Rap/Sung Collaboration

Nothin’ On You
B.o.B & Bruno Mars

Deuces
Chris Brown, Tyga & Kevin McCall

Love The Way You Lie
Eminem & Rihanna

Empire State Of Mind
Jay-Z & Alicia Keys

Wake Up! Everybody
John Legend, The Roots, Melanie Fiona & Common


I would’ve really liked to see The Roots nominated for that Johanna Newsom collab they did on their last album.

34. Best Rap Song

Empire State Of Mind
Jay-Z

Love The Way You Lie
Eminem

Not Afraid
Eminem

Nothin’ On You
B.O.B.

On To The Next One
Jay-Z

Jay is gonna win, but I’d like to see B.O.B. get it just for the upset.

35. Best Rap Album

The Adventures Of Bobby Ray
B.o.B

Thank Me Later
Drake

Recovery
Eminem

The Blueprint 3
Jay-Z

How I Got Over
The Roots


There’s no way Drake isn’t going to win this. Other than Bieber, he’s been the industries biggest success story. The Roots winning would be brilliant though, since they deserve it.

Everyone in this category is fucking lucky Kanye’s album came out too late to meet the deadline for nomination.

I have nothing to say on Country music or any of the other bullshit categories here.

82. Best Score Soundtrack Album For Motion Picture, Television Or Other Visual Media

Alice In Wonderland
Danny Elfman, composer

Avatar
James Horner, composer

Inception
Hans Zimmer, composer

Sherlock Holmes
Hans Zimmer, composer

Toy Story 3
Randy Newman, composer

—-
What? I can’t have an opinion on this?

92. Producer Of The Year, Non-Classical

Rob Cavallo

* Brand New Eyes (Paramore) (A)
* Hang Cool Teddy Bear (Meat Loaf) (A)
* Happy Hour (Uncle Kracker) (A)
* Music Again (Adam Lambert) (T)
* Soaked (Adam Lambert) (T)
* Sure Fire Winners (Adam Lambert) (T)
* Time For Miracles (Adam Lambert) (T)
* When It’s Time (Green Day) (T)

Danger Mouse

* Broken Bells (Broken Bells) (A)
* Dark Night Of The Soul (Danger Mouse And Sparklehorse) (A)
* Tighten Up (The Black Keys) (T)

Dr. Luke

* California Gurls (Katy Perry Featuring Snoop Dogg) (T)
* For Your Entertainment (Adam Lambert) (T)
* Hungover (Kesha) (T)
* Kiss N Tell (Kesha) (T)
* Magic (B.o.B. Featuring Rivers Cuomo) (T)
* Take It Off (Kesha) (T)
* Teenage Dream (Katy Perry) (T)
* Your Love Is My Drug (Kesha) (T)

RedOne

* Alejandro (Lady Gaga) (S)
* Bad Romance (Lady Gaga) (S)
* The Fame Monster (Lady Gaga) (A)
* I Like It (Enrique Iglesias Featuring Pitbull) (S)
* More (Usher) (T)
* We Are The World 25 For Haiti (Artists For Haiti) (S)
* Whole Lotta Love (Mary J. Blige) (S)

The Smeezingtons (Bruno Mars, Philip Lawrence, Ari Levine

* Billionaire (Travie McCoy Featuring Bruno Mars) (T)
* Bow Chicka Wow Wow (Mike Posner) (T)
* F*** You (Cee Lo Green) (S)
* Island Queen (Sean Kingston) (T)
* Just The Way You Are (Bruno Mars) (S)
* Nothin’ On You (B.o.B Featuring Bruno Mars) (T)

RedOne made the industry and ass-load of money this year. I also did not know Danger Moused produced Tighten Up.

108. Best Short Form Music Video

Ain’t No Grave / The Johnny Cash Project
(Johnny Cash)

Love The Way You Lie (Explicit Version)
Eminem & Rihanna

Stylo
Gorillaz, Mos Def & Bobby Womack

F*** You
Cee Lo Green

Bad Romance
Lady Gaga

Gorillaz deserve this win. Em will get it just because you don’t get 19 fucking nominations and don’t win half of them, especially not in a category like this.

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