Music Jumps the shark: Runaway Love Remix
So it’s finally here, the remix of Justin Bieber’s “Runaway Love” featuring Raekwon and Kanye West….and…yeah.
This isn’t the future we wanted.
Let me just put this out (in case it was in doubt) – Kanye and Raekwon come fucking hard on this track, and it’s helped even more by the fact that Kanye used a sample from the classic “Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthin To Fuck Wit.” That whole bit is great, it really is, it’s just the fucking Bieber I can’t get over.
I’m not going to sit here and wantonly knock the little Canuck. I legitimately have no beef with him, he can keep doing his thing because for the most part it doesn’t intersect into my daily life. But right now it is so I’m gonna have to escalate just a little bit.
Justin Bieber has no business being on a song with people who are actually good rappers. If he wanted to do a song with one of those stupid backpaper hip-pop groups, I’d fully support that. Why? Because it already sucks.
That castrato bit he’s got going on would be perfect with some bullshit like Ciddy Bang (and the ways things are looking, probably Kid Cudi & Wale too) but these are real rappers damn it.
Shit. Go over to Current Hip-Hop right now and listen to Rock City’s demo of “Runaway Love.” You don’t even need to listen to the full song, just take a little bit of it in and realize that this is a version of the song which would have worked better with the addition of Rae and Ye. Bieber’s version is fine too, if you’re a twelve year old girl, but keep that away from my rap music. Please.
I guess shouldn’t really put any blame for this on Bieber, it’s really not his fault. All the blame really lies on the shoulders of Kanye West and Raekwon. Kanye because as good a job as he did on that Wu-Tang sample, this song is produced terribly. It sounds like someone poorly mashed up a great rap song and a shitty pop-song.
And then there’s Rae, poor, poor Raekwon. I’m not really sure what’s good with him. Was this some last attempt to stay relevant? Was he hoping to maybe get some of Bieber’s fans as his own? Shit, let’s be real: Will any of his lilly-white fans actually listen to this song for reasons other than novelty and the fact that Bieber’s name is attached to it? No, probably not, and I don’t see this getting many spins on the radio either.
So I guess the question I’m really asking is: Why the hell does this exist?
I’m telling myself that it’s the only salvo which is going to be fired in a war which is being raged across all media, a mission to seek and conform to the general. It’s why every movie basically looks the same and gives itself away in the trailer. It’s why the History Channel shows shit like Ancient Aliens instead of things that actually matter. It’s why the Syfy channel changed it’s freaking name and is moving away from it’s tried and true format.
And now it’s come to music and I’m hoping and praying this is the only time we’ll ever be punished with such a monstrosity.
I always knew it would come to this, but I thought it would be more subtle, more elegant. We’ve seen it in the past, Chris Martin on a few Jay hooks here, Bon Iver on a Kanye song there…but this…this is an unholy fusion of the three most divisive genres of music American culture has ever produced. A smattering of 90s gangsta rap, a dash of aughtie mainstream rap, and then a great big helping of pop.
This is what happens when you try to appeal to everyone at the same time – you appeal to no one. People who like Justin Bieber are just going to listen to the original. And me? I’m gonna go to sleep and if I’ve got some time on my hands tomorrow I’m going to take this to Garageband and try and edit out the Bieber bits.
I’m sorry I ranted at you all. The lady at 7-11 gave me a pack of light cigarettes this morning and I really haven’t been right all day.